Happy Holidays

First Sharon's nephew, Dana, flew in from Austria and joined our son, Josh, and his girlfriend, Erika for a get together before Christmas. They had to leave just before our daughter, Jordan, and her family arrived from Chicago. Sharon's sister, Joyce and her husband, Ed, joined us the day after Christmas. It was all wonderful! Just the way the holidays ought to be. But wait...it's not over. After a short break, our grandchildren, Baxter and Lyle, will stay with us for a rousing New Years Eve Celebration in Pacific Grove with Shirley Temple's and the works. Then Jordan and Matt come back for a few days before they all need to return to Chicago. We are having a blast!

Tax preparation chores, today, brought 2007 in sharper focus. I had to go through the check records, one book at a time, fishing for medical expenses that weren't reimbursed by Blue Cross. I saw blanks in the deposit column that might have contained income. I saw deposits from disability payments that absorbed the anxiety of no income. Like breadcrumbs, checks and receipts mapped the trail back to the beginning of the year and I strolled back through it all. I was dazzled by the scale. Tens of thousands of dollars of our own money and hundreds of thousands of dollars in insurance payments littered the landscape.

We are incredibly resilient. We should have had nervous breakdowns on the economic impact alone. The economic impact was dwarfed by the focus on risky treatments that promised negative side effects and devastating possibilities.

As I walked back up the checkbook trail to today I felt better and better. I worked three days last week, practiced my golf swing. worked out in the gym and gained a few pounds. My muscles are firming up. I calculated my body mass index today and was delighted to realize that, as thin as I am, I'm right in the middle of my ideal weight category. I don't have to gain weight...just muscle.

I also need to fatten up the checkbook. All in good time. I continue to get great work and I'm really enjoying my clients. I hope to move on to an average of 3 days a week after the first of the year.

Back to work...

I'm back on even keel with no doctor's appointments for the near future. I'm working out again and even took my first golf lesson last week.

Monday was our 41st Anniversary. It's hard to believe that much time has passed. It goes so fast! This last year was frightening and we appreciated our anniversary more than ever as a result.

We are two days from Thanksgiving and, once again, we feel blessed and will give hearty thanks for the good health that seems to be with us after a year long storm of challenges. Sharon and I spent the last two Sunday's at the Universal Unitarian church. We liked what we saw. I'm sure we will join. In my lifetime, I've moved from Catholic to Episcopal to United Church of Christ Congregational to Unitarian. Each religion is more liberal than the last. What could be next?

In another step toward getting settled in Pacific Grove, Sharon attended an orientation session to become a literacy volunteer. When they discovered that she is certified to teach English as a Second Language, they decided to assign two adults who don't speak English. She is very excited to get engaged, again, in the work she loves the most.

Great news...mostly!

The two scans showed no cancer! I'm a free man for another six months! Almost...

While they were looking at the scans for signs of cancer, they found blood clots in my lungs. Pulmonary Emboli. I had an episode of that about 14 years ago that I recovered from just fine. This episode is much less invasive because we caught it early. I had no symptoms, but an ultrasound showed that I had small clots in my calves that were moving through my blood stream and into my lungs. They are small and are not interfering with my breathing. Evidently, the cancer treatments have a tendency to cause blood to coagulate faster than normal and mine has done just that.

I went straight from my doctor's visit to the Stanford Emergency room across the street. I spent Thursday night in the hospital and was released to treat myself at home with a few promises. I can't exercise hard for three days. I'll be on Cumiden for six months and they want to do another scan when they think the blood clots will be dissolved.

Just as I was trying to escape from the hospital yesterday, the surgeon was also catching up to the scans I did on Thursday and said he was concerned about an anomaly in the area that I had the endoscopy a couple of weeks ago. The surgeon wants to see me next week to see what that anomaly is. It's not cancer. It could be scar tissue. I could be a cyst of some sort. They may want to take a closer look with another scan or endoscopy.

So far, I'm surving cancer. I'm not doing so well on surving treatment!

I'm focused on the good news and trying not to notice the rest of the news more than necessary...a few pills...a few shots...a few more scans...missing a great round of golf today on a beautifully sunny day...

...and no cancer! I'll be back to work on Monday.

Silver linings....

I can't believe the difference! That little procedure really helped. I can swallow food so much better. I'm eating more. I think I've started to get some weight back. I'm also able to lift more weight at the gym. I think I'm getting a little muscle back as well.

I'll have two crucial scans this week. On Thursday morning, I'll get a CT dye contrast scan. In the afternoon, I'll get a PET scan. Then, I'll meet with the radiation oncologist who will give me the results. I expect that both will be negative for cancer. The problem with the scans is that there are often false positives that need additional work to make sure that they are not cancer. This will be a regular six month routine for five years.

Sharon and I went to San Francisco for the weekend and took in some great music and great food. Once again, it feels like we have our lives back again.

...and, a major step forward!

I went to Stanford Hospital last Thursday for a procedure to help me swallow more effectively. I had an endoscopy with a balloon that was inflated to widen the passage between my esophagus and my stomach. I only needed it widened about 4-5 millimeters or about 33%. Evidently, some scar tissue had grown in following surgery and closed the passage a bit. I was having trouble swallowing certain things...like food! I was a little apprehensive about the procedure because I didn't want the passage to be open too wide. Given that gravity is the only force that now keeps food in my stomach, I didn't want a wide opening that would let the food come back up to my esophagus(or beyond, God forbid) if did something like stand on my head for a minute. I'm not likely to do that, but go with the hypothetical for minute. It wouldn't be pretty.

I was sedated with Demerol. That's my favorite. I feel wonderful for two days after. I was even happier when I had lunch immediately after the procedure and was able to eat things that I hadn't been able to eat in months. I continued to eat even more over the weekend. Wow! I might be able to gain some weight back in the coming weeks.

After lunch, I went shopping for a new camera. I accidentally left my camera in an overhead compartment following a recent trip. I bought a new Cannon SLR that is just magnificent.

I also played 18 holes of golf on a beautiful 'Indian Summer' fall Saturday. My game improved a little.

Today, we toured Big Sur for the day. We managed to be at Garapatta Beach for sunset and we were rewarded with a combination of pink sunset and a sand bar that was smooth as glass to mirror the sky.

I'm back to work tomorrow and loving that, too. Life is really good! It makes me want to stand on my head!

Slight set back

I'm doing fine. I had another couple of weeks of Shingles attack that made it necessary to rest more than I wanted. I think the symptoms were light because I had a Shingles Immunization before my diagnosis. Since I started treatment, I've had enough trauma to trigger Shingles three times. Each time, the symptoms were much lighter than they might have been. So, I highly recommend that those of you who read this get a Shingles Immunization soon if you once had Chicken Pox.

That said, I feel good now. I took 10 days off from work, rested, and caught up with long overdue family visits. I'll start back to work on Monday. I'm more determined than ever to lift weights every other day. I have a lot of muscle to build. My weight has remained stable.

I've had a chance to meet with my Oncologist regarding progress. He was happy with my status and designed a program that includes a CT Scan every 6 months (instead of the normal 3 months) and an Endoscopy every year. He doesn't expect to see this cancer again, but we can't take any chances. The norm is that we need to see no cancer for 5 years before we are comfortable.

He also agree that I should have the passage between my esophagus and stomach enlarged from 9mm to 12mm. This will be done on October 25 at Stanford. Basically, they do another endoscopy and use a balloon to push back scar tissue that has formed since surgery. I was warned that scar tissue could form and I may have to do this more than once. The good news is that it's not too invasive or painful. I'll be in and out in a few hours with no side effects.