Sunday, December 24, 2006

A Nation of Grief Counsellors

I tell my mother, father and brother the news.

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Informing people, particularly family, is right up there with the worst parts of this situation. It's Christmas eve. I needed to tell my mother yesterday. We are going to see her today. She knew that I had a colonoscopy and endoscopy a week ago and she hadn't heard the results. She would have asked right away. Sharon and I would not able to hide our heightened emotional state. My mother would have read it right away. We can cover this news for awhile on the phone, but we can't in person. We would like to cover the news until we find out more detail. And, it's Christmas. Out of unavoidable necessity, my mother, father, brother, sister-in-law, brother-in-law, and two close friends became the first to know. Everyone has the same reaction. It's hard to take in. Then, it's devastating. Then, the response is brave and smart. "We know that you will be fine and you will come through this in great shape. Thank god you caught this early. I can picture you back at work in record time". I find their responses very helpful. It's as if our whole nation has dealt with so much cancer that we have been trained in how to respond. The response is authentic and sure footed. We are a nation of unofficial grief counsellors. We decide hold off telling other people until just before we see them. Everyone should enjoy the holidays without this news and we need more details.

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