Feeling light and metallic

I had another nine hour day in the infusion room yesterday. It was my third such day with one more to go next Monday.

I was surrounded by people who are really suffering and I'm almost guilty that I'm not. I feel like a poser. I finished a book, watched Charlie Rose and Jim Lehr, took a nap, wheeled my IV pole down to the cafe and grossed some people out while I sat, pole and all and ate. I was serenaded by an excellent jazz guitar player who lingered to talk for quite awhile. Tolerable day.

It sounds like a spa day, but the objective is to absorb Cysplatin. I get it once a week. Basically, it consists of the metal, Platinum. I'm being infused with Platinum. My value is going up! I never cared much to be a platinum member of anything, but here I am, today, feeling highly valued like a platinum member of some club I shouldn't belong to. I've also lost weight. It's not because I'm not eating. I'm just losing weight. So, I feel light as a feather and metallic after just coming back from a spa that was nightmarish. How weird! Part of the reason I feel so good is that I get a blast of some kind of cortizone that allows me not to feel sick after getting the Cysplatin. The cortizone lasts for about 24 hours. After that I'm depending on Zofran to do the same. So far, that combination has been good until Wednesday am. Then I begin to feel nausea. I can add Compozine to stabilize, but I haven't so far. Probably I will this week.

This new feeling of metallic light reminds me of a photo I took at an art fair in Saucelito, CA last year. An artist did body casts of metal wire and floated them above the tents. They were spectacular. I like these sculptures because I've had a recurring dream that I am running through a field and each bound gets higher and longer. When I get to about 20 feet high, I panic to get my balance and wake myself up with jolt. I feel, today, as if I could actually make those leaps. Then, a trip down the stairs to breakfast leaves my knees weak. Probably I won't try. Maybe in my dreams later today as they infuse me with saline solution to wash the platinum out of me again.