Unbelievable!

As I said, I didn't sleep much Tuesday night. I woke from a brief nap about 7:00 am Wednesday to a bright eyed and bushy tailed resident and his clipboard. This guy was 100% energy and intelligence. It's hard to take someone like that in the morning.

"We think we know what we are going to do. Don't eat breakfast. We are going to try to restart your heart rhythm with a defibrillator. You will be put to sleep and we will try to shock your heart back to it's natural rhythm." I picture the electric shock images from "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest".

"In order to do that, we need to do an ultrasonic endoscopy so that we can take a closer look at your heart to make sure that there are no blood clots."

"So", I say "tell me how you are going to send a scope down my esophagus after it has just had 22 radiation sessions and is so sore that I can't swallow water without it hurting. Will I be out colder than the handle on that door for this procedure?"

"No", he says, " we need you to be conscious through this test, but we will make you feel real good".

"And what are we going to do tomorrow", I say, "burn holes in my leg with cigarettes? I'm not agreeing to do this procedure until I've heard directly from the cardiologist, the radiation oncologist and the oncologist. I'm counting on you to get all three of them on the phone to hear about your plan."

He loses some of his color and stammers a bit. "Well, we are still talking about it".

He comes back an hour later, when Sharon is with me, and talks about it again as if it's going to happen. Sharon pushes back as hard as I did.

Thre hours later the resident arrives. "Good news", he said, we've decided to take a less invasive approach. We will control this with medication. You'll have to stay for a couple of days of observation."

Then, a woman arrives with her clipboard clutched tightly against her breast. "I have a good deal for you", she says, " a bed has opened up in a really large room".

"How many people are in this very large room?" I ask.

"Four", she answers with great positiveness.

"You want me to move from a double room to a dormitory?" I said. "No thanks. I'll suffer through this very small room ".

"Well, I'll try to keep you here, but we need to place a woman and we like to keep the room same sex", she adds.

"I'm already wearing a Johnnie that looks like a dress, so get me a wig and some lipstick. If she is really sick, she'll never know the difference".

She laughed and walked out.

An hour later a roommate arrives. I can't see her because my privacy curtain is up. I hear a lot of Spanish conversation and someone says that the pain level is an 8 out of 10, There is talk of morphine. Things quiet down an hour later. I get out of bed to take a walk and glance over to see who my new roommate is. I glanced quickly and observe an obese young woman lying face down in her street clothes. On my return, I also notice an arm in a cast pointing in strange directions.

All is quiet for hours.

Then a nurse comes in and says "Hey, you can't do that!"

There is conversation in English. The patient is a guy. His obese girlfriend had been laying on him, like a hen on a nest, in an effort to provide comfort to him....for hours! This is in a single hospital bed! I couldn't even see him except for his broken arm! Anyway, the girlfriend went home. I'm glad the guy was knocked out with morphine!

So, I didn't need a wig and lipstick after all.

My roommate, it turns out is a roofer who fell off a roof three stories up that morning. He is lucky to be alive, but broke his arm badly and did some damage to his pelvis. He was waiting for surgery. He waited three days before a surgeon showed up to tell him that he was scheduled for surgey next Monday!. He had no advocate. He hardly spoke English. He had dozens of visitors, but they all just hung around with their heads down saying almost nothing.

At 4:00 pm my normal heart rhythm returned spontaneously. The medical people saw it as a miracle because the medication doesn't work that fast.

So, everyone, thanks for your prayers, meditations and the good vibes you sent into my universe!

Even though I went back and forth from normal to abnormal heart rhythm the rest of the time in the hospital, everyone relaxed and felt that I could get this under control with some medication and attention.